Archive for September, 2011

September 28th 2011

WOWBENZ.COM: Faking Testimonials the Sissiest Way Possible

I swear, women notice all the wrong things.

See, while browsing through the hundreds of new WoW Gold sellers , my dearly beloved screamed like a rampaging banshee. Then she rushed over to my PC and said these cringe-worthy words:

wowbenz_omgcallgg

wowbenz_gossipgirl

Yeah, she saw Nate Archibald aka the actor Chace Crawford aka now the No. 3 guy in my hit list.

Faking customer testimonials and attaching equally fake pictures to them is already a fail on the part of Wowbenz.com, but this failure is double face-palm worthy: Why would you use a picture that gamers hate on sight?

A quick poll in my guild revealed that almost all my buddies, including Remus and Cletus, have heard their girlfriends gush over this sissy-haired schmuck. Some have even endured complaints to the tune of “Why can’t you be more like Nate?”

This jock stereotype sets an unrealistic bar that most WoW players can never live up to, simply because we have far more important matters to do than stealing the blow-dryer of our girlfriends. You know, like preparing for the new Dragon Soul raids. Or growing some manly balls without them having to smell like freaking roses.

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September 22nd 2011

WOW-GOLD-TEAM.COM: A PILE OF NINCOMPOOPS AND NUMBER FUDGERS (1/2)

wowgoldteam

While other Gold sellers try to be as vague as possible with their performance claims for fear of being held accountable by savvier buyers, WoW-Gold-Team.com goes right ahead and posts figures at odds with reality. Because why hide the numbers when you can simply fudge them?

35% Prices are cutdown! 100% Clients enjoy our service! 90% Orders are delivered in 15 minutes!

They’re really tooting that horn hard, aren’t they? But those are misleading at best and outright dishonest at worst.

Let’s start the dissection with that 35% cutdown conundrum. I took this to mean that their current prices – which are slightly in the expensive range – were pegged down. No doubt some of these Chinese sellers took Marketing 101, which has a cardinal rule for making customers think that they got a deal when in fact they didn’t.

It’s one of those things that sound nice but is absolutely useless for WoW Gold buyers. Could you imagine a company like Apple saying that the full-price iPad you’re buying is “50% cutdown” from an unreasonably high price no one would buy at? SiteJabber, BBB and FTC would collectively shut down their promo campaign faster than a bugged Lich King fight with Saronite bomb glitches.

And as for WoW-Gold-Team’s bold assertion on client satisfaction, well, those impressive numbers fluctuate depending on where you look for the copy.

wowgoldteam-fine-print

Down the homepage, in fine print, I spotted a toned down 95% client satisfaction rating and a longer 1 hour delivery average for 90% of WoW-Gold-Team orders. More like credibility 0%.

If these guys are willing to tinker with numbers to make their operations look rosier, then there’s no telling which of their other promises can be trusted. And believe me; they make a lot of those to hook you in.

But that’s for part two of my review. Up ahead, I talk to a WoW-Gold-Team chat agent to inquire about a possible order, only to get the most convoluted and ban-prone method yet of delivering WoW Gold. Will I take one for the team? Find out next installment.

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September 15th 2011

Blizzard Shows You What to Do After Being Hacked in WoW

Being hacked is such a painful experience that it scars you for the rest of your gaming life. More than the trauma of lost characters, gear and WoW Gold – which can all be recovered by Blizzard – is the sudden paranoia and vulnerability.

It’s like having a home break-in while you’re out running errands and finding the intruders have locked you out until the police arrives and verifies that it really is your home before helping you kick the thugs out.

The hacking restoration process is so laborious that some victims just don’t bother anymore. This is why this new video from Blizzard is such a godsend. It’s basically a succinct manual on what you need to do after being hacked.

If it helps, imagine these British voices as your raid and class leaders, directing you through the complex process of getting your account restored and protected from future hacking. This one’s a definite keeper; bookmark away!

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September 15th 2011

EGF READER QUESTION: HOW TO SELL GOLD EFFICIENTLY?

I woke up today, turned on the TV and was bombarded by pessimistic talking heads saying our economy is about as helpless as a close-range Hunter with Deterrence and Disengage on cooldown.

But I’m more inclined to think that our unemployed aren’t just flailing about like helpless victims. They’re taking their time to regroup, retrain, and find new ways to earn money.

In short, I’m expecting a renaissance of entrepreneurship – which I’m happy to report includes one industrious EGF fan who asked me how to more efficiently sell his farmed Gold across multiple realms.

egf-reader-email

Click image to enlarge

“Hi. Just wondering if you knew if there was a cost efficient way to sell gold to players in multiple realms. It seems like I would have to have multiple subscription accounts in each of the realms to do this. Thanks,” asked budding Gold seller Brian.

Ah, I can just imagine the great American pioneers bobbing their heads in approval. We’ve all heard by now how our jobs are now being outsourced to China, so why not fight back and wrest control of the Goldselling market back from their chopstick hold?

I forwarded Brian’s query to our favorite home-bred and well-fed dudes at WoWGoldPig.com who sent in this sage advice:

WoWGoldPig.com Response

“Sorry to break it you, Brian, but yeah that’s basically what you have to do. Character transfers don’t really work since you can only pack 20k Gold and have to plop down $25 in fees.

So if you’re planning to build a Gold farming empire, why not find a great middleman to do all the dirty delivery work for you? Yeah, you’re looking right at him, dude! The Pig has all the connections you’ll need to get your bacon on the market. Here’s one site we know you can trust and will cut you a sweet deal.

But if you’re looking to get a whole business going from farm to delivery, you’re gonna have to shell out the cash to get all those minions in place. Then assemble a network of trusted peeps to get those Gold coz customers won’t be patient with promises of ‘It’s coming. Just one more raid run!’

It all depends on what your long-term plan is. Think hard coz either way you gotta be really all in to get the big payoff. Good luck, dude!”

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September 8th 2011

Straight from the Spam Bag: FUN4GAME.COM IS A PROMO POOPER

I admit it; I’m an inveterate “promo snob.”

When I come across WoW Gold newsletters that are cleverly written and artisanally drawn (EpicToon’s and MOGS’s are crème de la crème), I can’t help but click the shiny button even before checking what the actual offer is all about. While anything that reeks of misspellings and bad attempts at Photoshop goes straight to the trash bin.

It’s gotten to the point where Remus and Cletus thought to warn me: “One of these days, you’re gonna miss a really awesome deal. You know, like kicking a diamond just because it looked like a rock.”

Well, I have a feeling that dreaded day of reckoning won’t come anytime soon, especially if everyone else is taking notes from FUN4GAME.com. Take a gander at this latest e-mail so self-defeating it makes a 0-2 Warsong Gulch match seem extra cheery.

fun4game-listless-spam

“The price dropped a little,” says Rita from FUN4GAME.com sheepishly. It’s a decent enough price – not the lowest ever, but acceptably low for the risk inherent to such a dubious-looking store – but all our dear e-mailer sender does is point out the obvious.

No coupon codes? No come-hithers? At the very least, I was expecting a detailed price comparison to at least make me feel a need to check out their depressing website. These guys just get more pathetic by the minute, don’t they. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re all huddling around the PC now, waiting to see how dear old EGF would uplift their e-mails for them .

So here’s the bottom line, FUN4GAME.com, fire that Rita girl and every other marketing quack you have and HIRE ME as your revamp guru.

On second thought, I’d rather get eaten by a colony of Amazonian fire ants. I hear it’s far less painless.

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September 2nd 2011

To All Scam Victims: WoWGoldFacts Wants You!

Ever been scammed by third-party providers in World of Warcraft? By Chinese sellers who made up excuses for incomplete deliveries? By power-levelers who stole your account and used your beloved toons as spambots in Stormwind? By item vendors who got your account banned?

Now’s the time to get back and get even, name-and-shame style!

Send in those woeful scam tales at wowgoldfacts at rocketmail dot com and you might get featured in a new column tentatively titled: Woe Gold.

Not all entries are going to get posted on the blog. I get loads of complaints each week, and it’s part of my job to do some due diligence, like checking out the site in question and digging around to see if your claims add up.

No guarantees here, kiddies. If you’re looking for actual game support, Blizzard Customer Service is your best bet. But if you want to turn your scam tragedy into a life-saving PSA, then yeah I’m pretty much your guy. Send in those sob stories now at wowgoldfacts at rocketmail dot com and you’re guaranteed to feel extra goody-goody this Labor Day weekend!

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