July 21st 2010
I’M TOO MANLY TO HATE PINK, BUT THIS SPAM MAKES ME WANT TO KILL BARBIE
Anyone who buys from Get4Gold.com AFTER receiving the horrendous email below is either color blind or a Barbie-cradling toddler who steals her mother’s credit card and thinks “Gold” is some glittery medal you get on commencement day. In other words, has the mental capacity of a five-year old Polyanna.
(Click for a larger image)
What’s up with all that pink anyway? And why the hell do all the gold prices end in question marks? Can I negotiate my way and screw them of a profit? You should be earning my trust not my anger? (Just wanted to see what it feels like to use a question mark when it’s not needed–it’s sickening and will give my prep school instructors a collective seizure when they learn this).
I showed my GF the email and agreed our future baby can design a better one for sure! How do I know? Because no one in his right mind uses Comic Sans to sell anything, let alone WoW Gold worth tens or hundreds of dollars.
And don’t get me started on the message itself. I’ve become so numb to how these spammers murder the English language I can easily replace that guy in Saw who I heard is contemplating retirement. Reminder: buy kiddie bike with training wheels and crazy face mask.
The only redeeming quality of this email is it’s seductively misleading title: “Honey, his wife would like you.”
Seductively misleading because I was expecting some twisted spam to pop out–you know the kind that would get me spanked silly for being too naughty–but instead I get one that gouges my eye with WoW Gold prices that reach UP TO THE THIRD DECIMAL PLACE! C’mon, who the hell does that?
Now I can’t even use that powder pink color in the baby room–assuming we have a purty girl–without thinking “F*cking Gold Spammers!” over and over. Plus I’ve never signed up for Get4Gold.com and assume this spam-happy site just got my email from its shady network partners. Must mow those leechers down!
