June 3rd 2010 10:03 pm
HI, ARE YOU THERE?
So many friendly level 1’s out there, wouldn’t you agree?
"Hi EGF, are you there?"
"Hi, Cletus, are you there?"
"Hi, Remus, are you there?"
"Hi, everybody on your realm, are you there?"
The common trigger reaction would be just to ignore or report the tell as spam, but sometimes one can’t help but have fun with those scammy Chinese sons of b*tches. Here’s an example of how you can mess with them (just be prepared to waste some time, though):
Spammer: Hi, EGF, are you there?
EGF: Yes I’m here. 
Spammer: How are you? Do you need golds? We have 22,978 golds on your server.
EGF: I sure do need golds, honey. Like lots of them!
Spammer: That is good. Discount is 5% and I will give you 10% on second order. Use code ABCDEF.
EGF: Awesome. I need 10,000 golds.
Spammer: Nice.
EGF: Yeah
(after a few minutes)
Spammer: Hello friend you order?
EGF: No.
Spammer: Why? 
EGF: Another gold seller offered me 15% discount.
Spammer: I give you 15% too!!
EGF: Really?
Spammer: Yes but order now and I stay here wait for you so I give you order number. Use code GHIJKL instead.
EGF: Oh I will I will.
Spammer: 10,000 gold okay?
EGF: No I want 15,000. Wanna buy a bike.
Spammer: 
EGF:
Spammer: Cool.
EGF: Yeah cool.
(minutes later)
Spammer: You finished friend?
EGF: Almost.
Spammer:
(3 agonizing minutes later)
Spammer: My friend give me your character name and server and I will tell our guy to send your gold now.
EGF: Sure. Character name is Goldfarmerboy and my server is Laughing Blade US. Alliance.
Spammer: kk will check now.
EGF:
(seconds later)
Spammer: My friend there is no server Laughing Blade.
EGF: Oh yeah, stupid me. Sorry. It’s Laughing Hoof.
(seconds later)
Spammer: My friend, are you sure you have correct server?
EGF: Are you implying that I am an idiot?
Spammer: No I’m sure it’s all honesty error.
(what the f*ck is an all honesty error? - EGF)
Spammer: Please, friend, what is your server and true character name?
EGF: I told ya: Goldfarmergirl and Lightning Rod.
Spammer: You making joke to me, friend?
EGF: No, I’m serious.
Spammer: You said Goldfarmerboy and now you say Goldfarmergirl.
EGF: I had a quickie sex change operation.
Spammer: My feeling is that you are joking.
EGF: My feeling is that you are right.
Spammer: Please, friend be honest with me.
EGF: Sigh, fine, fine. My character name is Philatio and my server is Illidan. Alliance.
Spammer: Thank you, my friend.
EGF: You’re welcome, my b*tch.
Spammer:
EGF: XD
(after 30 seconds)
Spammer: I do not see your character, maybe you lied did not order.
EGF: No, I think your system sucks. I did place an order. You’re just too stupid and lazy to look for it.
Spammer: You lie.
EGF: Damn straight I did.
Spammer: I will not offer you gold anymore.
EGF: Well, Halle-F*cking-lujah, thank God for small mercies!
Spammer: Maybe your friends want to order?
(I kid you not, a gold spammer asked me that question! - EGF)
EGF: Nah, they’re broke after buying that gay Celestial Steed.
Spammer: I see.
EGF: I want a free zebra unicorn mount!
Spammer: Sorry we not sell zebra unicorns.
EGF: Oh come on, you spammers are never short of zebra unicorns! I want one! Like right now!!!
Spammer: No zebra unicorns.
EGF: GODDAMN IT, I WANT A ZEBRA UNICORN I SAID!!! ZEBRA UNCIORN ZEBRA UNICORN ZEBRA UNICORN!!! I WANT MY ZEBRA UNICORN WAAAAA WAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
Spammer is ignoring you.
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3 Comments »
TheOldMacDonaldHadAFarm on 10 Jun 2010 at 4:18 pm #
Lol, bro, I’ve bben following your blog for a while now, I have small farming operation at home (I supply some of the sites that you buy from) and if any of my buyers tried to efff with me like that id try to eff them up somehow, lol.
Anyways, keep up the good work, love the blog and the funny reviews.
Hot "F"udge on 14 Jun 2010 at 6:20 am #
Haha! Poor noodle guy! He was totally pissed!
He really made me laugh, though.
Doff on 04 Jul 2010 at 9:01 pm #
LOLCAKES
hahaha what an idiot