April 15th 2010 07:05 am
SO I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE WONDERS OF SOCIAL NETWORKING
"Hun, I think I’m coming down with the flu. I don’t think I can make it to your cousin’s wedding rehearsal."
"You look fine to me," says GF with one eyebrow raised.
"I swear, sweetie, I don’t feel so great. And my throat is itchy."
"My cousin and her fiance are hoping to see you there. And Grandma’s been asking about you! Hellooo, you haven’t seen her in weeks. You know she thinks the world of you."
"I think the world of your grandmother too but, beautiful, I feel really awful and I just want to crawl into bed and take a nap."
"Fine, fine! Look, it’s already 2:00 and I haven’t done my makeup yet. Gotta rush. There’s leftover Chinese chicken soup in the fridge, just heat it if you need to take something warm and soothing. Text me if you want me to buy you dinner on the way home. Love you."
"Love you too."
Twenty-five minutes later…
…on vent…
Alvin (Guild Master and Raid Leader): Okay, ranged dps, your job is to shoot the f*cking snobolds. Everybody, do not stand in the f*cking fire, I don’t know how many times I must tell you retards not to stand in the f*cking fire. Standing in the f*cking fire is not f*cking good. Also, please let the tanks grab hate first before you dps on Gormok. This is not a f*cking DPS race, Please disable Recount so you can focus on your job and not focus on topping the goddamn f*cking meter.
(collective groans from all DPS)
Alvin: I mean it! Hide Recount and concentrate on burning the ‘bolds then Gormok. Does everyone have DBM? I am kicking the person who doesn’t have DBM! Alright, gonna do a ready check!
Two wipes and forty-five minutes later…
Alvin: Woot! I knew we could do it! Who wants an ICC rep run?
(everyone says aye)
Minutes later, in ICC…
Alvin: Who needs summons?
Me: Me!
Alvin: Get your lazy ass over to ICC, you lazy son of a b*tch.
Me: But you asked me if I wanted summons…
Two and a half hours later…(after the rep run that turned into an all-out blood fest that was Storming the Citadel (25-player) (amongst other things)…
"Hi, hun, how was the rehearsal?" I said in my "best" hoarse voice from under the sheets. "Did you have fun?"
GF opens her purse and hurls her iPhone at me.
"What the…" I failed to dodge the phone, proving once again I can never be a tank, and earned a good bruise on my right cheek.
"Grats on your latest achieve! Saw Alvin’s Facebook status crowing about your guild’s latest kill and that you’d gone and made a mess of yourself ! So what phat lootz did you win for yourself today?" she said in a voice that would have shamed Mercedes McCambridge’s in The Exorcist . She grabbed her iPhone from the bed. "I looooooooooove real time updates."
Oh.
Right.
Facebook.
Damn.
Damn you too, Alvin.
No WoW for me for the next five days.
And I foresee my credit card taking a beating this weekend to make amends for the most monumental f*ck up since the Health Care system.
Life…
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