Archive for April, 2010

April 30th 2010

EGF THE KINGSLAYER Plus PayPal and WoW Account Issues

Hey kiddies, you may have noticed that posts have been sporadic and I’ve been slow to approve comments. Well, here’s my laundry list of excuses:

1. Real life commitments - film projects, family, girlfriend (in no particular order)

2. Someone broke into my apartment while GF and I were having a late dinner in the Village. Luckily, security quickly apprehended the idiot with the double digit IQ who tried to cart away every gadget and gizmo I had…erm, and some underwear. (DON’T ASK ABOUT THIS ONE!)

Sadly, said idiot had been working in my building for the last several months and everyone - including me - thought he was a nice, dependable dude. Always ready with a cheery "good morning, Sir!"  Never failed to keep the premises clean. I shudder at the thought.

3. Been raiding a storm. Wiping, rezzing, repeating. Spent nearly 1K on repair bills (the horror!). But I finally got the Kingslayer title. Yup, my oldest toon - my beloved troll hunter - now proudly runs around Dal bearing the title. Now Alvin my guild leader wants us to work on getting the Bane of the Fallen King title once he’s sober again and gets back from celebrating with his latest GF (rumor has it he blew his life savings on a hotel suite to celebrate our achievement, which makes me wonder how he’s going to celebrate when we get the Bane title. Oh well, his problem, not mine).

4. Been having problems with PayPal. Long story.

5. One of my WoW accounts doesn’t have an authenticator attached to it. It’s a fairly new account I set up for review purposes, and it’s registered under a different name. When I logged into it recently, I was surprised to see one of the toons mysteriously parked in Ratchet. I never log out leaving any of my characters in Ratchet. They’re either in Dal or Shatt or Org. That toon is missing at least 300 gold.  While checking my inventory, I was mysteriously logged out. Internet connection was fine and latency was at 60ms. The next few minutes turned into a log-in/log-out fest, like I was competing with someone else for access to the account. I quickly changed my password and ordered an authenticator online. I’m still waiting for that device.

On that note, I should tell you guys that more WoW accounts have been hacked recently and I hope you all have authenticators on hand. If not, please get one ASAP.

Have a safe weekend.

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April 23rd 2010

SO SUSAN, DID YOU REALLY DO THIS?

This is a post that started with a draft that after reviewing made me realize I could get sued so I had to quickly rewrite this so the tone would be more of questioning than plain declaring that yeah, they did it and they should all die a fiery death.

"They" being Susan Express, Azeroth’s biggest in-game spammer and numero uno Trade chat whore. (Now that is  something I would proudly call them everyday even at the risk of getting sued).

After Rachel lost her WoW account, several more people in my realm got hacked and it was the hot topic on Trade chat. Four of those people learned that their accounts were used to create level 1 toons not only to act as mule toons for delivery purposes but also…

…to advertise Susan Express on Trade chat.

I was really floored when I learned that because to me, that was the ultimate insult — more painful than getting salt rubbed into a fresh wound. Your characters get robbed, disrobed, yes even deleted…and your account becomes a hive of level 1’s promoting x percent discount to convince people to buy WoW gold at Susan Express. Talk about dying a thousand deaths (or by a thousand spam).

The Susan team might say, "That wasn’t us, that was probably a competitor trying to make us look bad."

I’d say, "Look, bitch, you’re already making yourself look bad by constantly spamming on Trade chat, you don’t need a competitor to make you look more of a dubious whore than you already are."

But hey, Susie, feel free to contact me and tell me you didn’t do it.

People are talking about you.

Not just on my realm but in several others.

Time for you to refute that perhaps?

Oh no, no, not on Trade chat. Lord knows how awful you’d look if you did that. Imagine Susie going "For the thankness of our customers, we want to say we do not use stolen WoW accounts for our spam. We only borrow them for a short time while you are busy contacting Blizzard to get your account back. Here is coupon code XYZ and extra gold so you will not believe EGF."

Hahaha.

That was a joke. Don’t sue me please.

But do feel free to contact me and tell me your side of the story.

I’m waiting, Susie.

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April 22nd 2010

SOMETHING TO LAUGH AT: THOSE DUMB CHINESE SCAMMERS

Hahahahahaha!

Celestial Steed WoW scam

They’re gonna give your horse a Celestial Steed? WTF?

LAWLZ!

(Thanks to reader Skywalker for submitting this)

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April 19th 2010

HUNTARDS ARE NINJA RAIDERS? IF YOU SAY SO….QQ MORE!

Just had to post this after I rolled on and won Edge of Agony , which resulted in 80% of the raid screaming invectives at me on Vent, with one bellowing that "that f*cking ninja huntard already has Quel’Delar, Ferocity of the Scorned so why the f*ck does he need to have the Edge of Agony??!!"

Uh, simple, amigo, the two sockets would allow more room for agility and I need the extra Armor Penetration. And BTW, you’re an effing priest so it’s not like you needed the damn drop in the first place.

And to help re-educate you on the fact that everything is a hunter weapon (LAWLZ!) and to show how pathetic your QQ’ing is, here’s a nice little video for your viewing pleasure.



QQ more, motherf*cker.

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April 15th 2010

SO I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE WONDERS OF SOCIAL NETWORKING

"Hun, I think I’m coming down with the flu. I don’t think I can make it to your cousin’s wedding rehearsal."

"You look fine to me," says GF with one eyebrow raised.

"I swear, sweetie, I don’t feel so great. And my throat is itchy."

"My cousin and her fiance are hoping to see you there. And Grandma’s been asking about you! Hellooo, you haven’t seen her in weeks. You know she thinks the world of you."

"I think the world of your grandmother too but, beautiful, I feel really awful and I just want to crawl into bed and take a nap."

"Fine, fine! Look, it’s already 2:00 and I haven’t done my makeup yet. Gotta rush. There’s leftover Chinese chicken soup in the fridge, just heat it if you need to take something warm and soothing. Text me if you want me to buy you dinner on the way home. Love you."

"Love you too."

Twenty-five minutes later…

…on vent…

Alvin (Guild Master and Raid Leader): Okay, ranged dps, your job is to shoot the f*cking snobolds. Everybody, do not stand in the f*cking fire, I don’t know how many times I must tell you retards not to stand in the f*cking fire. Standing in the f*cking fire is not f*cking good. Also, please let the tanks grab hate first before you dps on Gormok. This is not a f*cking DPS race, Please disable Recount so you can focus on your job and not focus on topping the goddamn f*cking meter.

(collective groans from all DPS)

Alvin: I mean it! Hide Recount and concentrate on burning the ‘bolds then Gormok. Does everyone have DBM? I am kicking the person who doesn’t have DBM! Alright, gonna do a ready check!

Two wipes and forty-five minutes later…

Alvin: Woot! I knew we could do it! Who wants an ICC rep run?

(everyone says aye)

Minutes later, in ICC…

Alvin: Who needs summons?

Me: Me!

Alvin: Get your lazy ass over to ICC, you lazy son of a b*tch.

Me: But you asked me if I wanted summons…

Two and a half hours later…(after the rep run that turned into an all-out blood fest that was Storming the Citadel (25-player) (amongst other things)…

"Hi, hun, how was the rehearsal?" I said in my "best" hoarse voice from under the sheets.  "Did you have fun?"

GF opens her purse and hurls her iPhone at me.

"What the…" I failed to dodge the phone, proving once again I can never be a tank, and earned a good bruise on my right cheek.

"Grats on your latest achieve! Saw Alvin’s Facebook status crowing about your guild’s latest kill and that you’d gone and made a mess of yourself ! So what phat lootz did you win for yourself today?" she said in a voice that would have shamed Mercedes McCambridge’s in The Exorcist . She grabbed her iPhone from the bed. "I looooooooooove real time updates."

Oh.

Right.

Facebook.

Damn.

Damn you too, Alvin.

No WoW for me for the next five days.

And I foresee my credit card taking a beating this weekend to make amends for the most monumental f*ck up since the Health Care system.

Life…

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April 14th 2010

INTERLUDE POST BEFORE I GO NUTS

I knew it. I should have leveled a pally and not a huntard.

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April 8th 2010

GOLD SELLER EASTER NEWSLETTERS WITH SEXUAL UNDERTONES FTL

I know that in advertising and marketing, sex sells 365 days in a year but uh…

I think they should leave Easter alone.

Goldsoon Newsletter

"Surprise and pleasure are coming…."

Okay. I’ll just click on the button that says "1000 Free gold" and go ‘ooooohhhhhh’.

ViVoGame Newsletter

"They will definitely enhance your power and help you be stronger in wow," it says, followed below by a trio of unattractive women(?) in bunny ears who look like they charge by the hour. So aside from the extra gold, do you get like a chick(?) as well to service you? Who designed this piece of sh*t?

And finally, someone got lazy with the graphics and decided to go straight for a tantalizing promotion code:

G4per Newsletter

No, thanks I don’t wanna be your BF. I don’t dig chicks who spam my inbox incessantly with sweet nothings. In fact, I don’t dig gold sellers who keep sending me stupid newsletters even after I’ve unsubscribed. You guys suck. Learn to make your newsletters look more professional. Let’s start by learning English. Then hire a good graphic artist. Then think of less dumb promotion codes. And finally, get that unsubscribe feature to really work!

Because if I wanted to read stupid sh*t, I can always find it in Trade chat.

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April 6th 2010

DEAR HYPOCRITES

Dear Hypocrites (you know who you are),

I appreciate you taking the time to leave nasty comments about how gold buying is illegal and that only lazy sons of bitches like me buy gold.

I was ready to respect your opinion — after all, you are (bleep)ing entitled to any opinion your half-brain comes up with — but then I discovered that YOU have been buying gold all along and well, WTF is up with that?

(You’re probably wondering how I found out. Screw you. I have my sources. Trade chat is one. Your turncoat friends emailed me about your brand-new Traveler’s Tundra Mammoth. Another one of you got squealed on by his ex-girlfriend who didn’t get her promised share of the WoW gold he purchased from one of my recommended sites, haha)

ROFL. You remind me of those people who sing praises to Jesus and yet bed women other than their wives. Even those political candidates who criticize their opponents endlessly only to come crashing down after being exposed for embezzlement. Dudes, seriously, you are so lame.

Do me a favor: GTFO out of my site. I don’t need people like you visiting my site. Stop leaving comments. Keep yourselves busy.

Go buy some WoW gold even. ROFLMAO.

Then go to hell.

Thanks, brah.

Sincerely,

EGF

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