October 21st 2009 06:14 am
PRE-HALLOWEEN HORRORS: OOFAY THE UNDEAD (1/3)
*Cue Twilight Zone theme*
Okaaaaaaaay…
So what the hell was that September newsletter from Gaming4Less all about???
Well, they certainly resurrected faster than David Hasselhoff’s singing career! (Raise your hand if you have David’s CD Looking for Freedom )
And look, they are "waiting to entertain" us! Woot! What fabulous show have they prepared for us? Is it:
a) a leather and lace striptease act
b) a Chinese version of American Idol
c) gnome mud wrestling
d) all of the above
"I don’t want letter A if Oofay’s chicks are all flat-chested," declared Cletus. "I like my women with healthy scoops of flesh."
Um right.
Anyway, curiosity got the better of me and I dialed Oofay’s number to get to the bottom of the mystery. I got some chick with a Chinese accent who merely said "hello".
I said, "Hey, is this Oofay.com?"
She said, "Oh yes yes yes." (My, my, I had quite an effect on her!)
I chuckled. "Okay, I just have one question: why did a supposedly defunct company send me a newsletter offering 10% discount?"
Silence. Guess she didn’t understand the word "defunct".
"I mean I thought you guys closed. Some Gaming4Less dude named Ian Chambers sent a newsletter last month saying that Oofay was officially closed."
Chinese chick found her voice and said, "Oh no I am open, no, we are open." (She is open, my my!)
"Do you know the site Gaming4Less.com??" I pressed.
"No."
That’s odd.
"Do you know a guy named Ian Chambers?"
"No, we are Oofay."
DUH!
"Are you ordering for what game?" she asked.
"Not ordering, I just want answers. So you’re saying you never closed, you’re not a part of Gaming4Less and that Ian Chambers is a bad-ass liar who blows monkey balls."
"Uh yes, yes."
Paging Ian Chambers. Care to refute that?
"So you want gold?" she asked sweetly.
Talking to her and trying to get decent answers was like shoving my head in an industrial ice crusher. I hung up.
The mystery deepens.
But I’m sure about one thing:
Never order from Oofay. You just can’t trust ‘em.
*shudders*
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3 Comments »
Trev on 21 Oct 2009 at 9:00 pm #
Ian Chambers has a lot of ’splaining to do. BTW, EGF, I got disconnected during ToC again. Happy happy joy joy!
ladywolfbitch on 22 Oct 2009 at 12:56 am #
ho ho long time no comment and no i don’t have david hasselhoff’s CD. don’t think anyone’s that retarded to own a copy of his album. roflmao
Bill Compton on 22 Oct 2009 at 4:51 am #
“Do you know a guy named Ian Chambers?”
“No, we are Oofay.”
o_O LOL!
You should listen to Jungle Fever by The Chakachas or Chacarron by El Chombo. These are the BOMBS when it comes to music.