September 1st 2009 05:45 am
EGF ANSWERS READERS’ “PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE” Plus Sundry Questions (1/2)
Morning, kids. I’m back. Here’s Part One of our getting-to-know EGF mini-series — the questions gleaned from emails received since the early days of WoW Gold Facts . Remus and Cletus decided to join in the fun (hope you don’t mind).
Other MMOs you play besides WoW.
EGF: Currently, none.
Cletus: Ditto.
Remus: Ditto.
What is your real name?
EGF: Will never admit this one.
Cletus: My real name is light years better than this sh*tty pseudonym but I’m not telling you what it is.
Remus: Sadly, mine has a Junior at the end.
How can you afford ordering all that gold for your reviews?
EGF: Hey I’m not exactly poverty-stricken you know. And I lease virtual real estate for ads plus I have other sources.
Cletus: He steals stuff from his parents’ house and sells them.
Remus: He begs, borrows and steals.
Do you have something against the Chinese?
EGF: I have something against unscrupulous gold sellers, they all just happen to be Chinese. So when I kvetch about those people, I’m attacking only the spammy and scammy RMT site owners and not the 1.5 billion Chinese folks on this planet.
Cletus: No way. He loves them like he loves Chinese food.
Remus: I know the Chinese have something against him. LMAO.
Have you played all WoW races/classes?
EGF: Yup.
Cletus: Yup but Ally women’s butts are too big. Notice how female humans have child-bearing hips? Female Belfs are hot!
Remus: Yes and you are retarded, Cletus.
Why all the gnome hate?
EGF: One word: ganking.
Cletus: I get ganked more often by night elves. Hate them. Their men are ugly and their women are….hell, male Belfs are prettier than their women, which I think is both sad and sick at the same time.
Remus: Two words: graveyard camping. After killing King Varian, I was one of the unfortunate souls who got slaughtered before we could escape Stormwind. Suddenly there were all these gnomes hanging out beside the GY. Spirit rez, die. Spirit rez, die. Had to come back for my corpse when the coast was clear. Like after 3 hours.
Ever played a gnome?
EGF: Hell, yes, back in the old days when I was just so excited to try out all possible race/class combos and before I realized that Uncle Thrall had it right all along.
Cletus: Gnome women in their underwear freak me out.
Remus: That doesn’t answer the question, Cletus.
Why do you hate the Alliance so much?
EGF: Why do I hate the pompous, parochial, polka-dancing, self-righteous, goody-goody, Pollyana-esque Alliance? I dunno. *shrugs shoulders*
Cletus: Most vicious gankers are from Alliance. And they say they’re the good guys? Bullsh*t.
Remus: Five words that you read everyday: THE CROSSROADS IS UNDER ATTACK!
Why do you have more than one WoW account?
EGF: Three reasons. 1) If one account gets banned or hacked or something, I have backup. 2) One account is for spying on the opposite faction. Before Blizz allowed the creation of both Horde and Ally toons on the same PvP server in the same account (Jesus, I really thought at first it was some bug in the sytem), I relied on this one account’s Ally toons to check the Trade chats for any raid plans on the major Horde cities. 3) Just ’cause.
Cletus: He can afford it.
Remus: He’s addicted, ’nuff said.
What do you think of people who play on private servers?
EGF: Er, what about them? Hey, aren’t those private servers buggy?
Cletus: Private servers = poor man’s cocaine.
Remus: NOKD.
EGF and Cletus: What the hell is NOKD?
Remus: Not Our Kind, Darling.
Cletus: You’re a snooty male biatch, you know that?
Remus: Thank you.
If given the chance, would you like to work for Blizzard?
EGF: Between Hollywood and Blizzard, GIVE ME BLIZZARD!
Cletus: He secretly worships at the altar of Mike Morhaime so I’m not surprised he said Blizz.
Remus: So Mike Morhaime is a religion?
What is your favorite race/class?
EGF: Troll hunter. Hands down. I’m a huntard and proud of it. You need ranged DPS from hell? Call me. I can’t tank or heal for sh*t, but ranged DPS is a different (and happy) story.
Cletus: I like my Belf DK ’cause it attracts a lot of girls.
Remus: GIRLS? Oh you mean Guys In Real Life? Anyway, I like my Tauren Druid and my Undead Rogue. And I think DKs are still too overpowered (though I have a couple of level 80 DKs myself).
Cletus: You’re still bitter that my pretty boy DK keeps beating your ugly cow in duels.
EGF: Children, children….
Your heroes in WoW.
EGF: Uncle Thrall.
Cletus: Lady Sylvanas ’cause she’s smokin’ in that metal bikini.
Remus: Saurfang
Prominent WoW characters you despise the most.
EGF: King Varian because he’s the Ally big cheese and he’s always the one boss that’s keeping you from achieving For The Horde! Took a few attempts before we finally downed him and got the achievement. And heck, that was on just one realm for one of my many toons! Poor guy must be so sick of me.
Cletus: Ditto. He’s a son of a b*tch to kill.
Remus: I beg to differ. It’s Algalon. Killing him is something I can only dream of.
Cletus: Yeah, yeah but not everyone is geared enough for Ulduar and if you’re talking about everyday prominent WoW characters that even a green and blue-wearing noob has a chance of killing, then it’s gotta be Varian.
Remus: Just giving my humble opinion, you crude rube.
Cletus: Oh shut up, society boy.
How many alts do you have?
EGF: Gak, too many!
Cletus: I have a lot of level 1 alts.
Remus: Too many neglected alts languishing in many servers on each account. I hate clutter so I deleted most of my toons and retained my favorite 8.
Your favorite occupation?
EGF: Being the unofficial tormentor of all things spammy and scammy.
Cletus: Being my father’s son.
Remus: Crunching numbers in an office housed in the same building as one of the city’s top modeling agencies.
Your idea of misery?
EGF: Tuesday realm maintenance.
Cletus: That and not having enough money on a Friday night.
Remus: Working on a Saturday.
What’s your favorite food/drink?
EGF: My grandmother’s beef lasagna, my mother’s Burgundy beef stew, and Peter Luger steaks (on someone else’s dime). Yup, I love dem cows downed with chocolate and peanut butter shakes.
Cletus: Deep dish pizza and a Pepsi.
Remus: Anything from Balthazar restaurant.
What you hate the most (outside WoW).
EGF: Plenty. Snowstorms. Filthy public restrooms. Overly chatty baristas who look and sound like they should lay off the espressos themselves. People who cut in line.
Cletus: Fat, ugly chicks who lie about me flirting with them.
Remus: My ex-girlfriend who raped my bank account.
How would you like to die?
EGF: In an amusing way.
Cletus: In a way that I can spirit rez and go back to living a debauched life.
Remus: Sitting at my desk just before I sign my last will and testament. That ought to cause a riot.
When will you stop playing WoW?
EGF: Never I think.
Cletus: Let me ask you this: when will Blizz pull the plug on WoW?
Remus: They better not pull the plug before I’ve managed to kill every (bleep)ing boss there is.
EGF: Yeah and with Cataclysm in the works, why the hell would you ask such a question?
To be continued…
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4 Comments »
Littlebark on 01 Sep 2009 at 11:32 am #
Too funny.
And the scary thing is, I can relate to all three of your answers. But I do agree that DK’s are too OP and that Tauren Druids kick ass.
meadwad on 01 Sep 2009 at 2:30 pm #
which new race from Cataclysm are you more excited to play: little-green-men Goblins or wolf-men Worgen?
meatwad on 01 Sep 2009 at 2:32 pm #
which race from Cataclysm are you more excited to play: little-green-men Goblins or wolf-men Worgen?
Bill Compton on 02 Sep 2009 at 3:22 am #
Cool! I do like Sylvanas as well. She’s hot. LOL!