August 2nd 2009 11:17 am

UNWANTED SSEX: ANGRY WOW PLAYERS BLOW UP THE SUSAN EXPRESS (3/3)

Review of: SusanExpress
wow gold seller review, wow gold, wow gold review, susanexpress review:
EGF

Reviewed by:
Rating:
1
On August 2, 2009
Last modified:November 29, 2012

Summary:

SusanExpress (wtf does that even mean?) is full of fail. It took a bit over 2 days to get the order and as usual there is the runaround about having stock then not having it. If you enjoy getting in game spam, be sure to use them, and don't expect any in-game gold anytime soon if you do.

Heya, delinquent WoW-playing teens who know their moms’ PayPal log-in info, if you:

a) want to buy WoW gold behind your momma’s back

b) don’t want to be hassled by Draconian verification crap

c) don’t mind being bombarded by incessant spamming in the game

d) don’t care if you’re supporting a web of Chinese companies engaged in dubious practices

e) all of the above

Then heck, go check out Susan Express dot com.

(Just in case you didn’t notice, I was being sarcastic)

Anyway, Jack was shocked senseless when the gold was delivered…after two days. Face to face. Just before his buddy’s mom could file a chargeback or something (and before she could whack her son on the butt with a soup ladle). Guess SSEX didn’t want to risk losing those precious American dollars so they trashed the auction house scheme (of course no bandage was put up for sale so that got them kinda worried, I bet)  and went ahead and delivered the goodies when they saw his toon online.

And man, were they (SSEX) sure in a hurry to get it over and done with, ’cause their delivery toon kept telling Jack’s guildie’s toon to hurry up and haul his ass to Ratchet….and the guy was all the way in Dragonblight preparing to enter Azjol-Nerub. Guildie replied, “Cant. About to enter instance.” SSEX toon said “plz plz go Ratchet”.

So “go Ratchet” he did. He excused himself from the party and took a long-ass journey to Ratchet to receive his 2-day old, unverified order. So much for “plentiful WoW stock”, “5-minute delivery”, “all possible steps to protect our clients’ details” and “no best but better”, whatever the hell that last one means.

Susan, you bitch, if you’re going to keep spamming us, you better live up to the claims you whore in the game. But given who your parent company is , I guess we can all just disregard what you say and dismiss you like an unwanted, aging hooker. We’re not THAT desperate for, um, SSEX, ya know.

And for a nice closing, here’s Jack’s conversation with a member of Suzie Wong, I mean, Susan’s brothel team:

(Warning: strong language and insults galore. Do not read if you are highly sensitive)

Lily said:
Welcome to SusanExpress. What can I do for you?

You said:
u delivered the gold 2 days late. Item #SSEX09XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lily said:
Sorry we collected first gold then we waited for your auction but you did not email us

You said:
so u didnt have the stock. u also didn’t call to check the order. btw y do u keep spamming us?

Lily said:
But now you have gold. :)

You said:
answer the question y do u keep spamming in wow?

Lily said:
We will do better next time.

You said:
wtf u mean spam better and harder?

Lily said:
We will deliver faster next time.

You said:
there wont be a next time u dumb bitch u f*cked up starting with that spam sh*t

Lily said:
Please understand we try our best.  :(

You said:
OMFG ur dumber than dirt u know that WE DO NOT WANT UR SPAM SH*T

Lily said:
You are angry that were late but I assure you that next time we will be better

You said:
Only starving f*cktards spam in game and thats what u guys ar! susanexpress is  a major holy starving  f*cktard Chinese spamming epic fail. btw do u pay ur spammers in rice?

Lily said:
We are good company please do not talk that way

You said:
a good company that spamslike satan himself thats something new

Lily said:
If you have nothing more to say I will say goodbye now

You said:
oh i have something more to say tell ur boss susan she’s a f*cking ho and to stop sending her slutty spamming hoes in the game susan express is an epic ho fail haha bye

And that, folks, was one cyber-SSEX chat that Lily will never forget.

You’re da man, Jack!

/salute

SusanExpress (wtf does that even mean?) is full of fail. It took a bit over 2 days to get the order and as usual there is the runaround about having stock then not having it. If you enjoy getting in game spam, be sure to use them, and don't expect any in-game gold anytime soon if you do.

5 Comments »

5 Responses to “UNWANTED SSEX: ANGRY WOW PLAYERS BLOW UP THE SUSAN EXPRESS (3/3)”

  1. Cathryn Wheel on 04 Aug 2009 at 3:45 am #

    Oh this is sick but serves those Chinese scammers right!

  2. Lestat de Lioncourt on 04 Aug 2009 at 12:20 pm #

    To Jack: You’re the MAN! 2 Thumbs up to you! Ü

  3. Sushieq on 25 Sep 2009 at 7:33 am #

    I’d have a little more respect for this guy “Jack” if he had a little more respect and a bit more intelligence. I understand this article has good intentions but I think if he’s going to hate a company that much, maybe he should stop buying gold from them? :P

  4. Dan on 23 Jun 2010 at 10:00 am #

    Dude, i want to meet Jack. He’s DA man!

  5. The poster above me is a retard on 24 Oct 2010 at 11:35 pm #

    Jack sounds like a fag trying to act tough over the internet. Btw susan express thanks you for your money.

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