July 27th 2009 05:05 am
DUMB AND DUMBER: THE NEWSLETTER PARADE AND MORE
Speaking about Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne — I mean –the Lam brothers, here are more abominations from their camp, courtesy of their victim Cletus.
"With us, you can do Things you wAnt to…" — Uh huh. Except convince you to hire an English instructor and set that skewed ‘A" right.
"Do as I want" — You don’t even give a flying fruck what your customers want.
"WoWmine team a mob of WOW maniacs" - Remove the acronym "WOW" and the description will be very apt.
The Donald Trump Package??? Does it come with a toupée?
Apparently not. What you’ll get (if they have mercy on you) instead are:
1. First Aid 375.
2. A level 60 mount + 225 riding skill+spare gold.
3. Two related professions leveled to 300 (Mining + Blacksmithing, Skinning + Leatherworking, Mining + Engineering, Mining + Jewelcrafting, Tailoring + Enchanting).
4. This bundled package takes 14 days to complete.
"They need 14 days to steal everything from your account?" laughed Remus. "Man, they’re slow."
"I thought they said they were fast," said Cletus through a mouthful of MY cookies. "Cheap, fast and American was how their Live Chat chick described their company."
"Cheap, fast and American?" I sputtered. "You mean like Pamela Anderson?"
More chuckles below…
This one’s from reader Paul:
"Our market survey showed that you are the largest importer of wow gold." - They spent a helluva money on their market survey to discover that Paul is the "largest importer of wow gold" but they sure as hell could not determine his gender. Brilliant. Someone kill them please.
"love777" and "lily_luvya@hotmail.com" — This is one horny bitch.
And finally here’s another gem from reader Zayda-slash-Littlebark:
Blizzard is about to launch a "new mounts" and if you want more "mation", which I bet you don’t — and what the hell is "mation" anyway - I suggest you get on your mount and ride into the sunset to avoid this spamming SOB.
And finally here’s the spam I got over the weekend:
Excuse me, but I certainly don’t need instructions on how to give a "woooman the absolute most intense orgasm of her life". I’d expound on the subject but that would be bragging, wouldn’t it?
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5 Comments »
Juniperberry on 27 Jul 2009 at 7:39 am #
Out of lurker mode. This is the funniest post ever! ROFLMAO @ “Cheap, fast and American?” I sputtered. “You mean like Pamela Anderson?”
mini me on 27 Jul 2009 at 8:27 pm #
The flying slash jumping turtle on the newsletter is not so very realistic at all. Seriously, since when did a turtle learn to jump or fly??
Don’t take WOWMINE seriously everyone! They are very very nutty…They crack you up all the time!
Thanks for giving us a good laugh wowmine.
Cathryn Wheel on 28 Jul 2009 at 5:06 am #
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
meatwad on 28 Jul 2009 at 10:52 am #
“Share Good Things
With Friends
Forward The Mail to Them”
I would not share this newsletter to my friends… maybe to my enemies! >=D
Lestat de Lioncourt on 28 Jul 2009 at 11:44 am #
LOL. You should put a LOL of shame for these sites’ newsletters. They are so hilarious.
WTFROTFLMAOBBQSAUCE!!1!