April 15th 2008 04:15 am

SWAGVAULT: NO STOCK Plus This Blue Blood Blows A Gasket (1/4)

I had a good enough weekend to help me recover from my harrowing experience with THSale.com. Nothin’ a little roast chicken and lasagna can’t fix. Thanks grandma!

Now I’m back and "full a piss an’ vinegar" and ready to review the next WoW gold-selling company. Making like Ted Bundy selecting a random victim, I close my eyes and run a finger down the list of gold-selling companies I had written on a notepad.

Helloooo, Swagvault.com!

Now this is another company that’s been getting mixed reviews, mostly bad ones. The last bad review I read was a few weeks ago and maybe – just maybe – by some miracle their customer service and delivery times have improved. Plus you know how I love to find out things for myself.

On to Swagvault’s site, where I am greeted by this:

SwagVault Banner Ad

It’s a special on WoW US Gold, encouraging WoW nuts like me to buy the cheapest WoW gold on the planet "before the stocks got emptied". Uh huh.

I go to the WoW US buy page and I am assaulted by the mother of all cheesy copies — this one could supply enough moldy mozzarella to cut down every deep-dish pizza-eating denizen in Chicago with food poisoning.

SwagVault WoW Us Buy Page

"Crush your enemies,
Impress your friends,
become the big cheese of your clan!!!"

(Not while my Great-Grandfather Angus is still alive, amigo)

"WoW Gold USA Speacial Discount Zone" (How speacial ?)

"SwagVault resvers the right…" Eh, whatever.

I click on Swagvault’s Live Support and get someone named Jasmine (nice name). I pose as Ebenezer Scrooge. Why? Dunno.

So here’s the first screen capture of our chat. It starts out casually with me telling her that I’d like to buy at least 500 gold on some random server I selected. Naturally, one needs to know if there’s supply before ordering.

SwagVault Chat-1

"Out of stock atm", Jasmine says. How refreshingly honest! That earns some brownie points in my book until…..

SwagVault Chat-2

Okay, what did I say in my last post about customer service? Basically I said I HATE AGENTS WHO DISMISS ME , especially in this case when I am NOT YET DONE with my inquiry. Time to break out the snooty Eton-educated London aristocrat and cut this dame down to size!

SwagVault Chat-3

Nothing like a good threat to sic the manager on her:

SwagVault Chat-4

Now any person with at least half a brain could see how fake my Lordship act is but since this is SwagVault I don’t think they know the vagaries of the nobility or, in my case, the vagaries of the Eutrotrash parvenu wannabe. Or maybe I’m just so dang convincing I deserve both an Oscar and a BAFTA Award.

Anyway, I ask Jasmine if they’ll have stock tomorrow and she says she thinks so but she can’t promise me. Eh?

SwagVault Chat-5

SwagVault Chat-6

I know at this point I sound like I’m on drugs but at the rate I’m getting ticked off I don’t care if Jasmine thinks I’m a candidate for rehab. First, she tries to get rid of me prematurely — without so much as a "Is there anything else I can help you with?" — and then sails through the rest of the conversation with textbook replies and the enthusiasm of a paper cup.

No assurance, no attempt to win my business, no "we’re the best and we’re going to prove it to you" battle cry, nothing, nada, zilch! God help SwagVault if all of its reps were like Jasmine.

SwagVault Chat-7

SwagVault Chat-8

Well, at least she makes up for her rudeness by flashing me with those emotes….NOT!

To order or not to order, that is the question. No stock at the moment but as Scarlett O’Hara once said, "Tomorrow is another day." I’m a man on a mission, kiddies. SwagVault can die another day.


3 Responses to “SWAGVAULT: NO STOCK Plus This Blue Blood Blows A Gasket (1/4)”

  1. ladywolfbitch on 15 Apr 2008 at 4:31 am #

    This is too funny! I hope after this SwagVault retrains its people…not that I’m planning to buy from them again. SwagVault sucks!

  2. winter_rogue on 02 Dec 2011 at 9:21 am #

    HAHAH that is wonderful , i loved it… they’re gonna deliver you huh? wonder how that works ..lol

  3. Jarod V on 20 Mar 2012 at 6:46 pm #

    I must say that this has been the worst online purchase experience I have ever had. Your representatives lied to me and promised gold delivery same day of order and Items/mount delivery within 24 hours. I dealt with people through Live Support and on the phone—They all basically are trained to say “We are really sorry, we understand your concerns, we will fill your order ASAP” or ” few more hour our guy isn’t here” First off I hope someone with real authority and common logic reads this and understands my valid frustration. Here is how my experience basically went… I call the swagvault phone number Friday before I purchase to verify that I can receive gold really soon and items within a reasonable time. They assured me YES–and said they had all in stock. I travel to a Western Union and send You $219.98 which is available to you all within MINUTES–I checked the MTCN# via web and customer support. Friday comes and goes and I get a huge runaround saying the person/banker/whoever isn’t around to verify my payment??! WTF any braindead person w/ basic internet or phone skills can contact WU to verify it. Needless to say –I don’t even get my gold friday. Satuday arrives and by now I must know all your live support specialists by first name basis! Same runaround saying that my issue is of high priority and that I may even have my items in 12 hours!! So im super excited! 12 hours comes and goes and NOTHING–same BS about we are out of stock blah blah blah-IF YOU ARE OUT OF STOCK OF WOW ITEMS THEN SAY SO ON YOUR WEBSITE BEFORE PEOPLE DISH OUT HARD EARNED MONEY! Sunday comes and goes-By this point they all know me and have finally admitted that they received my payment-FINALLY! I even get a verification email saying the order is is “processing” and that my items will be delivered really soon. Well You can probally guess that that was BS too–i received nothing Sunday. NOW-Today is monday-I use Live chat and tell them my terrible situation–they restate that they received my payment and they will send my items soon–can you people be any more vague and elusive?? A wonderfully nice Support Rep named Shirley arranged for me to at least get my gold delivered ingame after over an hour of waiting. they said “log in on your main and we will whisper you now”-NOTE- they didnt include the 5% bonus they said it was “partial payment”sigh. As icing on this horrible cake they overcharged me $20 on the carved ogre Idol I ordered -I just realized that today ! TUESDAY ARRIVES-with high hopes of all my items being in my inbox/mailbox—NOPE!! I have to wait until like 12 noon to receive 2 out of the 3–The best one, the Mount, of course is missing! I get the good ol Swagvault runaround promising me 2 times this very day that “few more hours it will be mailed” BSBSBS! It’s 6:45 East coast time USA atm and I cant even get a support specialist to connect me to a manager or even on the PHONE! SO to sum this all up–This has been an AWFUL experience that could have been 100% mitigated. I feel like I was ripped off and lied to. I demand compensation for my overcharged item, my time lost due to dealing with live support/phone service and all the extra grief and anxiety i was placed through! I had full intentions of switching to swagvault for all my MMO needs, but unless this situation is remedied VERY SOON–I and every gamer I know that deals w/ currency, TCG loots, etc will NEVER buy from your company–I Will let the whole mmo community know how you people really do business. And believe me, My community reach is deep in these matters-U people screwed yourselves! remember that So the choice is yours, it’s in your hopefully capable hands. -Sincerely, Jarod

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